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Every year we allow the public to choose their winner out of the top five stories. In this way, you get to assess what makes for good writing, and you support a local writer at the same time. The writer who wins the People's Choice Award receives a prize of R2000.00.

Honours

Congratulations to our writers of an Honours Award. These stories narrowly missed making the top five.

‘The Pangolin Scale’ by Matthew F. Child

‘Circles’ by Orry Messer

‘Jonathan’s Creatures’ by Tania Terblanche

‘Silence’ by Hannelie Victor

‘Coffee Break’ by Jared Jeffery

‘Return to Hout Bay Craft Market’ by Joanna Evans

‘Lessons in snake charming and other useful life skills’ by Linda McCullough

‘The Mouth of the Machine’ by Rudi Benadé

‘Honest Harry’ by Duncan Aird

‘We Were Poets’ by Ryan Eric Lamb

Honourable Mention

These writers receive an Honourable Mention for stories that were well-written and a delight to read.

‘Doing the right thing’ by Riaan Els

‘Figments of the Unforgiven’ by Mandisi Nkomo

‘Thinking Pretty’ by Kayli Vee Levitan

‘Unexpected Angel’ by Matthew Thomas

‘Bitter Tears’ by Mohau Kotola

‘When the Old Men Come (Story of an African Jew)’ by Tapiwa Zvakavapano

‘The Overcoat’ by Caroline Maina

‘Finding Sara’ by Mark Thomas

‘Wanting’ by Farzanah Dawood

‘The Shebeen Queen’ by Nthepa Martha Moitsheki

'Makhulu’ by John Keith Anderson Holland

‘Decision Time’ by Ray Hattingh

'Doing the Right Thing' by Ken Farnsworth

‘Raid on a Black Lotus’ by Omri Pieterse

Food for Thought

by first Carla Lever

• Certainly held my attention from the start and got better as it went along. Yes, it presents a fresh angle on thoughts of death and dying.  The woman is immediately revealed as a deep thinker and a philosopher about all aspects of her life, as well as about her own impending death. Excellent use of language, terrific phrases, not a word wrong. Filled with admiration for this writer. This is the sort of story that stays with you for a long time afterwards. GS
•  Phew, a big story (essay) dealing with the biggest of issues and yet quite exquisitely brought down to earth with the baking of a good briyani. It's provocative and thought provoking, and very well written. Moving, inspiring, insightful. It could perhaps be trimmed in parts. Is it a story though or is it an exceptional essay, in the fashion of Anne Fadiman? To this reader if feels to veer more towards being an exceptional essay. Thank you to the author though, it did what few pieces do – made one think and what's more feel resolved to do something with one's own beautiful hands.AS
•  The story beautifully dances between the big and small pictures, between external and internal horror, and looking at all the angles of illness and pain. It does so with tenderness but without unnecessary sentimentality.KJ
•  Some interesting insights about death. Be careful about the voice of the character slipping.  'Problem solved, bru' - this doesn't see to fit the voice of the narrator.LL
•  This story grabbed me with its opening hook and didn't let me go. I love the way the story upsets the reader's expectations as the narrator is revealed to be the patient – and your shift in tone matches perfectly. The points you make are profound and insightful (and that's no easy feat when so much has been said on this topic). The subtle black humour works well and you have mastered the use of the incomplete sentence. Your use of language, imagery and literary devices are excellent, with some  brilliant metaphors. A few transitions need work. This is a stirring  story that left me with goosebumps. SL

Wholesale

by Liam Kruger

•  Terrific energy in this quirky story - a whole new take on marketing in your local discount store. The story bounded along at a great rate with no side paths. The protagonist’s cynical voice came through loud and clear and I felt I knew them both by the time it ended. Loved it. I almost missed the murder in the second last line, it was so casually done. If there had been any more clever observations it would have been a bit too far off- the- wall but as it is, it’s great. GS
•  This is a most intriguing concept, and potentially a good story, but perhaps could do with further developing. The narrator's view of the world is quirky, engaging and, in the end, disturbing, and yet perhaps not fully convincing.AS
• Love the concept of a futuristic religion crazed society, and I think that is very well realised. I was never clear what the relationship between the narrator and the character being described was, and I didn't feel the ending worked. KJ
• Found this dystopian future scenario both chilling and amusing. Thought the author did well to combine two rather different tones. The story was perhaps a little difficult to follow in parts, but certainly original. LL
•  Wow. This is such a clever, ironic postmodern story, and so original that it really challenges the reader. The story deftly satirises the commercialisation of faith and uses wonderful absurdist humour, while making profound points about human nature. This is tight, concise writing with a great conversational, colloquial style. The killer ending upsets expectations and makes us rethink the entire story. SL

Sleeping Dogs

by Eleanor Talbot    

•  Great South Effrican feel to this. It was a bit choppy, going from the conversation between the two mates and then the wife being interviewed by the police and then back to the two men. All the characters were sharply drawn: you could walk down any street in Brakpan and know you’d meet them (sorry, Brakpan!). No discernable imagery but the spot-on slang and genuine feel to the language made up for it.  Loved it. Read it with a smile on my face all the way through. I liked the way it didn’t miss a beat with the hilarious interview between the wife and the cops. GS
•  A great start to this story. Some good dialogue pushing the plot forward. The author does a good job of drawing the reader into the character's world, but for this reader the character is a tough one to like or care about, so although there is potential here, ultimately, the story isn't compelling. AS
• The story is clever in revealing the plot through dialogue rather than spelling it out to us. The twists and turns are very well thought out. Personally I struggled to find someone or something to care about in the narrative. . KJ
• A humourous story, though perhaps a touch cliched. It's difficult to get a very accurate sense of character just through dialogue, especially when the characters don't speak that differently from one another, though I understand that using only dialogue was a feature of this story. Make sure that your character remains consistent. Would the main character - clearly a pleasure-seeking, rather amoral kind of guy - say this: 'There’s the right way to do things and the wrong way to do things.'? The language seemed too pedantic. LL
• Very few writers could pull off a story that only uses dialogue (and dialogue  from three different conversations), but this bold move has more than paid off. It takes great skill to write a story which is more about what isn’t said than what is said. I love the way the story makes the reader do some work to read between the lines and work out how the three conversations intersect. I love the subtle humour that comes from misunderstandings (eg Jannie’s lack of imagination/stupidity), and what this interaction tells us about the characters.  The conversational, colloquial style feels effortless and captures both the South Africa setting, and the way that people go off on tangents during conversations. I also love the self-referential way the story draws attention to good and bad metaphors (milkshake etc). And 'the right way to do things' is a clever spin on the theme. An incredibly impressive story that I can't fault. Bravo. SL

Room Number 25

by Zanub E Dala

•  Excellent use of imagery and gorgeous language. Two disappointed people and an unusual take on sex in the afternoon. I read it through, waiting for something else to happen beyond the summing up of the story which we read in the first paragraph. It just felt very ponderous. It flips back and forth between now and the past, and every now and then we read her thoughts, although it is mostly Ian’s musings. It was hard to get to grips with Ian. He seemed to drift through the story. I just didn’t get involved with these two characters. And his remark at the end, about doing the right thing, seemed tacked on just to suit the theme. The language was beautiful but the whole thing felt distanced and remote, a bit like the two characters I suppose. This is a really good writer and I wish I liked the story more. GS
•  The author's use of Tetchikoff's orchid is genius – so vivid that image that I lost track of the rest of the story, my thoughts kept going back to that scene created in the first pages. The characters are well drawn, original. The story has great potential, but it lacks something, perhaps momentum? AS
• I found this story to be told with a truthfulness and unflinchingness, to offer a refreshing perspective, a well observed snapshot of two lives colliding, of potential, taking a turning point in two lives and laying it bare. KJ
• The disparity between the fantasy and the reality of an affair was well brought across. However, try and show through detail - rather than piling on adjectives -e.g. 'mediocre beachfront hotel'. Can this be shown to the reader through detail? Readers like to work things out for themselves. Be careful about over-writing. Also, be careful about shifting from inside one character's head to the other. It can be confusing for the reader.  LL
• The idea at the heart of the story is a good one – often reality doesn't match up to our expectations – and the aborted affair is a nice spin on the theme. Try to use fewer similes, as using them too often lessens their impact, and try to use fewer adjectives. The best paragraphs are where you play it straight and don’t overwrite. Lovely opening and ending, and great flow. SL

Restitution

by Liz Dewing

• Very readable story. From the start of her uneasy relationship with her neighbours you know this is not going to end well for someone. After opening in the present it slips back into the past events quite seamlesssly. Excellent studies of the bullying husband and the beaten, cowed wife who tries to excuse him practically to the last. Not a lot of imagery, this story is plainly told but that’s fine. It ended so well. Without spelling it out we knew Jodie was going to a better life in the peaceful Karoo and Kenny was going to get his just deserts. This story had two places where Doing the Right Thing came into it - once when Kenny wouldn’t, and at the end when she took Jodie away, which was the right thing to do. For me, it was the content of this story which stuck with me, not the writing which was OK but fairly pedestrian. GS
• Awful, but good. It is the kind of story I wish did not exist. Any kind of abuse sickens me and I find it hard to read about, but the narrator here is well developed, and the story has a fine arc with some positivity at the end (of course, it is a relief that little Jody is going to have a new life in Nieu Bethesda, which is a rather lovely spot and a ray of light in a very dark story). However, I feel the Denise character is a bit of a stereotype, underdeveloped and then kind of thrown away at the end – left in a ditch to die both literally and figuratively. The complexity of her situation isn’t examined – one could argue that the narrator sees Denise’s staying with her husband as crazy and for her it is impossible to understand and thus as a first person account it is fair enough to leave Denise as the stereotypical battered wife. However, when taking on such a grave topic, one that touches so many South African lives, it is the opinion of this reader that it is perhaps important to reflect a little more sensitively on why on earth Denise didn’t get out of there before. That is the real question a story like this raises and it is not one the story answers. In fact, the final paragraph is almost glib about the dead wife ... and it ends on something that seems to be a joke, which is effective from the narrator and narrative’s point of view, but chilling and is it appropriate? To be honest the topic of this story is something that makes me so angry, I feel so much for that woman Denise and others like her, that it is impossible for me to tell if I’m being objective about the story. AS
• What interests me about this story is how everything about the narrator is revealed through the other characters. It's a dark tale, well told. The ending leaves so many open questions. KJ
• This story covers the horrific subject of domestic violence. The writing is smooth, but I felt that the characters were too black or white (not sufficiently ambivalent or nuanced) - they were either terrible or very good. Also, I don't have much sense of the character of the protagonist, Mrs Harding (not even her first name), or anything much about her life - besides her terrible neighbours. LL
• This story has a good start and ending, and a nice flow. I'd advise trimming back the non-essential dialogue and adding detail that develops the characters and helps us engage with them emotionally. The story would benefit from  some more adventurous language, imagery and literary devices to add to the nice simile in the first line.  The interaction between the narrator and the policeman weary of her complaints is a nice touch. SL